Fresh

The first day of a new year is always so promising. There are no mistakes in 2015 yet. There is no anger, pain, frustration, want or disappointment. I haven't wasted anything, or broken anything or forgotten to do anything. A fresh start. I am totally with it in 2015. Go, me.

But, within a few hours of the start of New Year's Day, it becomes pretty clear that most of the same issues from last year come with you to the new year. I'm still just as broken as ever. I'm still just me. The new year may be a fresh start, but it isn't a magic wand. I still need to fix my own issues and bad habits, pick up the pieces of the things I have dropped, and work my way through my life.

Thank goodness for the truth of that. Can you imagine the disaster that would occur if the slate were truly wiped clean? What would we lose? The precious relationships that we work on and for every day would be erased. The sweet words spoken yesterday, forgotten. Oh, gosh, all the work and hassle and expense of Christmas would create memories that only last six days! We have to keep the bitter truths about ourselves to keep the sweet truth of our families.

I have things I want to change in 2015. Things I want to do better, things I want to do more of, things I want to do less of.  I am so grateful that I get to head into the new year with my family by my side. We are far from perfect, but I've spent a lot of time on these guys. I'm glad I don't have to start fresh.